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Medjugorje testimony

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Spiritual Testimony from Medjugorje

A miraculous smile from heaven

My relation with the Virgin Mary began 6 years before my trip to Medjugorje “(2006) following long years of suffering when I was refusing God’s love. I thought that God is tough, ignores our pains on earth, His love is the biggest lie ever and that crucifixion was only an emotional joke. I went to the extent of challenging God saying to Him: “we are suffering here on earth and you’re in Heaven, I challenge you if you love me give me the proof of it.” In that period of time I was sad depressed and had deep thirst for love and happiness.

In that same day I had a dream, I saw the Virgin Mary standing in front of me and smiling to me, and this dream kept appearing to me frequently, almost every day, until I wondered: Why am I so favored? What does she wants? Until one night I dreamed of her standing next to me and pointing her finger to a far place where an amazing light is shining I knew in my heart that this light is Jesus, and only by looking at him he melted my heart with his deep unexplained miraculous love, I felt desperate overwhelming desire to love him and reach him, I cried with great pain because I was too far to reach his light, then I heard Mary’s voice asking me: “do you want to go to Jesus?” I said: “yes” she said : “take my hand”.

I believe that the divine love hid in the heart of the beautiful Mother of Charity Mary to console me and pour out His love on my sufferings despite my sins, stubbornness, and refusal. He came to teach me that love is not a lie but is the focus of existence. Love is God Himself, and ever since I started a relationship with “Mary” by praying the rosary and going to church regularly.

When I was absorbed in the life’s difficulties and concerns, I was attracted, through Mary, to Podbordo Group that saw the light on the Hill of Apparition in Medjugorje. Being informed later about the group’s foundation, after 3 years (2009) I felt that Mary was telling me that I remain in her heart.

When the group decided on its 10th anniversary to visit Medjugorje, I didn’t want to go there especially that I was told that whoever travels there, he is called by the Virgin. But I didn’t feel any call or desire to go there. Nevertheless, I decided to make this trip as an act of gratitude to Mary for everything She did in my life. At that time, I was tremendously tired but I was mostly consoled when Mary visited me again in my dream after 5 years. I saw Her on the mountain’s summit with St Joseph and the Child Jesus standing between them and opening His arms. I raised my eyes to Mary and supplicated Her: “Take me… Take me” I meant going to Heaven where She is with Jesus, but She smiled and opened Her hand. Then a big plane dropped. I understood at that time that this plane would take me to Heaven, not that of God but to Heaven on earth: Medjugorje. For a moment, I wondered: Is it possible that my dream be an illusion, non-sense. I got the answer from the Bible on the following day: Acts (2: 1) and the Book of Joel (2:28) “After that, I will send out my Holy Spirit onto all people. Your sons and daughters will be prophets. Your old men will dream and your young men will see pictures in their minds.”God helped me to understand that dreams related to our spiritual life are a grace of the Holy Spirit. I figured out that it is a direct call of the Virgin but of the Holy Family. Interestingly, when I arrived there, I got into the chapel where the group attended the mass and the 1st thing that drew my attention was the Holy Family’s statue. I was very happy and felt that the Holy Family called me by my name and they live there.

I didn’t travel to Medjugorje in order to experience an extraordinary phenomenon and I didn’t ask the Virgin a lot of demands. My problem was spiritual I was refusing my weakness I always wanted to be perfect in serving god and never succeed. What bothered me that I was told that I’ll experience there Mount Tabor, meaning indescribable consolation and joy and this happened to me very rarely. So I thought that Jesus is surely unsatisfied I will never be perfect enough for him.  Despite all these negative ideas, I believed that I would have peace and countless graces because I had already experienced Mary’s generosity.

The trip’s program included many sites but I can talk about two exceptional sanctuaries that are the Hill of Apparition Podbordo and Krizevac Mountain. Climbing Podbordo Mt, my mind went completely blank till boredom. But as soon as we went up, streams of tears flew from my eyes without interruption. I didn’t know why because I wasn’t sad neither too happy. I didn’t pray nor think of anything but I couldn’t stop crying. My situation became awkward till we went down the mountain. I wondered what this might be, with my complete spiritual dryness. I met by coincidence my chaplain on my way back and told him about the issue. His explanation was wonderful: “This is how lovers meet together”. I realized deeply then that this mountain was an intimate meeting place with God so much that even the human person didn’t feel it, His presence is beyond emotions. I knew that Mary was hugging my soul that expressed its yearning with tears.

Krizevac Mountain was the only place where Jesus poured out His consolations and indescribable peace. The place was charming so much that I said: I believe that the Holy Spirit is blowing there. I sat alone contemplating Jesus as I was longing greatly for him and his consolations. At that time, I felt deep peace and love I knew how much I am loved and God is satisfied with me as I was, with all my weaknesses sins and imperfections. I was overwhelmed by a great happiness and a great desire to love Jesus. Even I said to Mary: "I want to spend my life loving your son, I want to experience love till the end.” I wanted to share Jesus’ life meaning His passion, glory and whatever His love requires. At this mountain, my spiritual healing from rejecting weakness, inferiority and guilt’s complexes began. What is amazing is that I have always heard about God’s love and acceptance of the weak if they surrender to him but I did not live such a case. In Medjugorje, every spoken word was deep-rooted in my soul and I accepted it with simplicity especially when I experienced the Sacrament of Penance in Medjugorje. I can say that the work of the Holy Spirit was very strong there. I went to a priest, and I said to him: "My problem is that I do not love God enough, but I feel my weakness in everything I do." He smiled and replied: "What are you doing here, haven’t you come from far away, haven’t you left your work and home, haven’t you handled the travel trouble, isn’t this a beautiful sacrifice? Of course, you love God and He understands that even you do not see it clearly. He doesn’t ask heroic deeds, but all what you do for him no matter how small it is makes a rose grow in his hands and believe this rose will be eternal, let Jesus love you and do not stop Him. If you allow him to love you, you will be able to plant lots of flowers. After my confession, happiness filled my heart and I began accepting progressively my weakness. Since then, Jesus’ love for me and my weakness seemed clearer and I understood St Theresa saying of Jesus: "How is it easy to please him".

Finally, the day before I left I asked Mary to send me a tangible souvenir or give me any sign I insisted: I want something from you. Her reply was a painting bearing the expression “Thank You” in Italian offered to me by a visitor I did not know. I wondered: Is there something for which the Mother of God can thank the human person? I run to the priest and asked him, he answered: "Of course, She thanks us for honoring Her and loving Her Son. When I have meditated carefully Her messages and call, I discovered the truth about Medjugorje.  the wonderful and effective village. What’s amazing is that even when I said to Mary: Take me to you, Her response was Medjugorje. When I almost had to leave this village, Her answer was Thank you. It was remarkable that Mary was telling me that  this place belongs to Her.  Certainly Mary works in every part of the world, but I believe that Her happy house where she outpours Her graces is now Medjugorje, that fascinating place with Her motherly presence. Second thing “Mary” always ends her messages with the expression “ Thank you for having responded to my call”, I knew then, that I was on the right path in my relation with “Jesus”, I don’t have to worry anymore about being imperfect and weak,  I got great strength, my strong effective spiritual experiences began so much that I became caught by Jesus’ love and my joy is to make Him loved like St. Theresa.

After all my spiritual experiences, I can say that I belong to Mary par excellence. For me, Mary was the first smile and the first sign of love from Heaven a smile that changed my life. 

I have challenged Jesus with His love when I didn’t believe in it. Fortunately, I have lost; His love caught me and I became the prisoner of that love that I see now a burning fire able to change the entity of the human being and elevate him to the high levels of holiness. That’s why I say to everyone who missed God’s love under the burden of pains and to everyone who have doubts regarding this love: God is real love is real and eternal life is real. Be sure that you might win any challenge in life but never be skeptical of God’s love for the human being because you will definitely loose,  you won’t only loose but you will sacrifice yourself to satisfy Him, and no matter how weak and sinners we are a simple smile from heaven can change our whole lives if we accepr ourselves and surrender to Jesus.

Nadine Nohra